Pastor Lade Owolabi, wife of Pastor Juwon Owolabi of Lightlife Church International in Nigeria, has called on married women to take greater responsibility for their sexual wellbeing, saying intimacy should be treated as an important part of a fulfilling marriage.
Speaking at a “Marriage That Works” programme, she encouraged women to move beyond the idea that sex within marriage is mainly about having children. She argued that sexual intimacy also involves pleasure, communication, understanding and mutual satisfaction between partners.
Pastor Owolabi said women should make an effort to understand their bodies and feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs with their husbands rather than treating the subject as taboo.
“If you die without experiencing orgasm, you’ve lived a wasted life,” she said, encouraging married women not to feel embarrassed about seeking sexual fulfilment in their relationships.
She also urged couples to deliberately educate themselves about intimacy instead of assuming that sexual matters are too sensitive to discuss openly.
Reflecting on her own experience, Pastor Owolabi said she entered marriage with little knowledge about sex. She explained that she was a virgin when she got married and initially viewed intimacy largely from a biological standpoint.
However, she said her experience in marriage made her realise that sexual intimacy was a much broader subject that required learning and open communication.
“I knew that okay, I need to understand because this is a body of knowledge, this is like a university,” she said.
Based on that experience, she advised married women to seek knowledge about intimacy while also creating room for honest conversations with their husbands about their expectations, preferences and needs.
Pastor Owolabi further encouraged couples to be willing to explore different forms of intimacy in marriage, provided they remain within the boundaries of their marital relationship.
“God is not against other styles in marriage,” she said.
Her comments formed part of a broader discussion on what helps couples build healthy and lasting marriages. The programme examined several dimensions of married life, including emotional connection, spirituality, communication and physical intimacy.
Pastor Juwon Owolabi, who also participated in the programme, addressed the issue of intimacy and ageing, arguing that growing older should not necessarily mean the end of sexual closeness between married couples.
He referenced the biblical account of Abraham and Keturah to support his point that age alone should not prevent couples from maintaining intimacy.
“If you take care of yourself, the older you become, the better it should be,” he stated.
